From GulfNews.com – Etiquette instruction has become necessary in Dubai Hotels

Hotels issue brunch etiquette norms

By Kevin Scott, Staff Reporter Published: November 05, 2008, 23:33

Dubai: Expatriates and visitors to Dubai are being reminded of what is considered acceptable behaviour at the city’s notorious brunches. Several hotels have taken steps recently to inform guests of the etiquette expected of them at the popular events, which have become something of a Dubai institution. Al Qasr Hotel, part of the Jumeirah Hotel Group, has started leaving cards on dining tables that list the do’s and don’ts of brunch behaviour. The move comes as a British couple await an appeal hearing after being found guilty of having sex on a Dubai beach. The pair had consumed a large amount of alcohol at one of the city’s brunches prior to engaging in the “activity”.   When contacted, Marco Nijhof, Senior Vice-President, Middle East, Africa and South Asia, Jumeirah, said: “At Madinat Jumeirah, we have taken the initiative to inform our guests about local culture and customs here in Dubai. We have therefore produced information cards which are distributed throughout Mina A’Salam and Al Qasr and which advise our guests about acceptable dress codes, public displays of affection, drinking and other… behaviour.” Cynthia’s comment: This is another example of tourists visiting a country without learning the local culture, etiquette and protocols.

Cool Biz not so cool for some people

This is an interesting article I found that shows the current state of business casual attire in Japan.

The Daily Yomiuri – Osaka,Japan

by Akiko Yoshinaga / Yomiuri Shimbun Staff Writer

The government’s Cool Biz energy-saving campaign is firmly embedded in offices across the country.

People are leaving their jackets and ties at home in the summer heat, but some people are apparently taking Cool Biz too far, causing discomfort and embarrassment to coworkers.

A 34-year-old female dispatch worker at an office in Tokyo’s Marunouchi business district is constantly troubled by a male employee who sits next to her. The man does not wear anything under his shirt. When he returns to the office after being outside, his sweat causes his shirt to stick to his skin, making it see-through.

On occasions such as when the man is handing the woman documents, she is at a loss as to where to look.

“It’s an awful feeling,” she said. “Isn’t this some kind of sexual harassment?”

The woman confided in another male employee, who had a word with the man in question.

But the undershirtless man just snapped back: “Before shorts and briefs were invented in Europe, shirts doubled as underwear. Wearing layers of underwear is odd!” showing no indication he would change his ways.

“People who wear underwear dry quickly after perspiring,” a spokesman for Gunze Ltd., an Osaka-based underwear maker, said. “[Wearing underwear] can also help prevent evaporative cooling.”

Some women also have caused problems by showing too much flesh in the summer months.

Camisoles are in fashion for women this summer. With many of them having frills, being made of lace or having thin shoulder straps, some men feel they too closely resemble underwear.

People such as older managers are reportedly hostile toward female attire they deem unsuitable for the workplace. They dislike it when women show off bare legs without stockings or wear mules–slip-on shoes that can be misconstrued to be beach sandals.

“Camisoles and tanktops are not suitable [for work],” CareerRise Corp., a personnel dispatch firm based in Chuo Ward, Tokyo, advises women registered with the firm on its homepage: “Skirts long enough to cover the knees are appropriate.”

A spokesman for the company was strict on the matter, saying, “We [advise this] because we have to avoid creating a bad image at companies we send staff to.”

Chiyoko Anju, an employment and business etiquette instruction consultant, also is critical of overly revealing clothing.

“People’s first impressions are based on what a person wears,” Anju says. “Wearing clothes that expose skin or casual attire creates a image of a selfish person who’s brash or showy. A person misses out before they know it and should realize that clothing makes a difference to their salary.”

Chuo Ward-based Link and Motivation Inc., a management consultancy, has created playing cards for young employees. One of the cards states: “Low-slung trousers [hanketsu in Japanese] will be judged as illegal [also hanketsu].”

The cards are aimed at women who wear low-rise jeans that expose their underwear when they stoop over. Employees know the cards well and have reportedly helped create an environment in which some male employees jokingly call out, “Hanketsu!” to their female counterparts.

Perhaps it is necessary for people to step back a little from the latest fashions for the sake of smooth work relationships.

(Aug. 4, 2008)

The F Word Means You’re Fired!

24/04/2008
One in ten UK bosses has fired an employee for swearing at work.

- 47% would fire for bad language in the workplace

- 96% of employees believe swearing is unacceptable

- A foul mouth is no.1and no.2 in top ten office offenses

As Gordon Ramsay enforces a no swearing rule in his restaurants, a new report out today from TheLadders.co.uk reveals that one in ten UK bosses has fired an employee for swearing at work; whilst 17% have shown employees the red card for bad manners such as lunchtime drinking, personal calls and gossiping.

The poll of more than one thousand bosses conducted by TheLadders.co.uk the UK’s biggest search and selection site for senior executives, reveals that 47% of bosses would fire for bad language whilst 96% of senior managers said that they would find a foul mouthed colleague unacceptable to work alongside in the office.

In the current “F” Word Culture, TheLadders.co.uk report looked at how seriously senior managers viewed manners and office etiquette. 97% of respondents believed that good office etiquette was important whilst 57% said that they would fire an employee for bad manners. Seventy six per cent have given an official warning for etiquette offences such as a messy desk, flossing teeth or picking noses, bad breath or wearing trainers.

The top ten office etiquette offenses deemed unacceptable by senior managers are:

1.Bad hygiene (97%) – smelly breath and dirty clothes etc..

2.Bad language (96%)

3.Bad habits (95%) – flossing teeth with paperclip, picking nose etc..

4.Wastefulness (86%)

5.Not offering to share chores (86%)

6.Eating smelly food in the office (80%)

7.Eating someone else’s food out of the fridge/from their desk (79%)

8.Messy desk/office area and littering etc. (78%)

9.Loud talking (75%)

10.Blackberries in meetings (73%)

Nearly half of bosses find smoking breaks unacceptable whilst the use of personal technology – i.e. instant messaging (56%), listening to your ipod (56%) and blackberries in meetings (73%) are also particularly irksome.

Sarah Drew, General Manager of TheLadders.co.uk says: “Some argue that in the 21st century employers should move with the times and accept swearing as part of the every day vernacular, particularly when it’s glamorised by the likes of Gordon Ramsay. You can also argue that swearing eases stress at work and is a way of bonding with fellow colleagues. But employees beware, in every office there exists an invisible line between professional and unprofessional behaviour and swearing Ramsay style definitely crosses the line.”

From onrec.com

Editor’s comment: I previously wrote about the negative impact of swearing.  As the sign in a barbershop in Huntingburg, Indiana states – “Profanity is the effort of a feeble mind to express itself forcibly” – swearing is not only offensive to almost everyone, it proves your lack of a powerful vocabulary.

 

Potential Employers & Would-be Clients Show Poor Etiquette

Over the years, I have heard the statement over and over again, “I interviewed but never heard back from them.”  Recently I have been experiencing the same dismay.  One day in January this year, I was asked to meet with the General Manager of a hotel that was opening in our area.  The appointment took half of my day for a fifteen minute interview.  I was told that I would hear from him by the end of the week (four days later).  I heard nothing.  Immediately after I returned from the interview, I sent a handwritten note to both the General Manager and his secretary thanking them for their time to meet with me. Another week went by – no call.  After the third week I called to ask if they had hired another company to do etiquette training for their group and was told no they had not.  I was assured by the secretary that she would get back to me about the status of our proposal in the next day or two.  Eight weeks later, no call.

Considering that the General Manager of the hotel was hiring our company to provide etiquette training for his staff because he said he valued knowledge of the subject, you would think that he would exercise proper etiquette and return phone calls and keep his promises.

I find it unfortunate that a company was willing to take my time to go to their office but does not have the grace to treat contractors (or would-be contractors) with the grace they want us to teach their employees.   This was not the first time this has happened, but the practice seems to be getting much worse.  I would love to hear about your stories similar to this one.

The Other ‘customs’ of International Meetings: Protocol

• When I first started planning international meetings more than 20 years ago, “going global” was the catchphrase of the day. Companies sought new markets outside of the United States and associations sought new membership. When I started planning meetings abroad, my focus was strictly on logistics: freight forwarding, negotiating in foreign currencies, collaborating with airlines, tax deductibility, choosing activities for attendees to enjoy while they were in the destination, and producing a positive experience that would not be forgotten … all important aspects of international meetings.

  I didn’t realize I was overlooking one of the most critical parts of the international meeting experience: protocol. As an international meeting planner, I also needed to assume the role of protocol officer without the title. I quickly learned that it was my job to understand cultural expectations to get the job done. Here are some protocol tips I share from my hard-earned experience:

  Communication Styles
  Communication is not the same all over the rest of the world as it is in the United States — and I am not referring to obvious language differences. Americans like to “get to the point” and to know definitively what is going to happen at each step of the way. Our communications, both written and verbal, are more hurried. We often use “shorthand English,” thinking the other party will understand our meaning. For example, responding to questions from a Japanese meeting planning team, one U.S. hotel sales executive said, “No problem,” which was interpreted as “No, there is a problem.” The hotel lost the business.

  In Asia, the Middle East, and in many part of Europe, communication is more looped. It starts with social chat, may include a mention of the work at hand, and then goes back to social chat. Americans may become frustrated with the time it can take to get consensus on a point, but should not try to hurry the process. Understand that the relationship between the parties is more important than the contract. In negotiations with vendors, “no” doesn’t mean no most of the time; it means maybe. Sometimes, as in Asian countries, “maybe” means no.

  Dress
  How you dress sets the tone for your business relationships overseas. Fortunately, the conservative navy or grey suit for men and women is proper just about everywhere. It conveys a sense of professionalism. For women, a modest neckline is just as important.

  You may not have thought about it, but colors have a strong influence in how you are perceived abroad. While red is a power color in the United States, in parts of Africa it is a color of mourning. In Asia, it is a lucky color, while in Russia and many countries of the former Soviet Union; red still stands for communism and the blood of revolution. In Latin America, the color purple is associated with death. In Asia, white is the color of mourning. Color consideration must be given to gifts as well as dress.

  Business Cards
  You will need to hand out twice as many business cards overseas as you would expect to hand out during a meeting at home. In almost every office meeting, you will give one to the receptionist as well as to your contact. Always give your business card with your right hand or both hands. The left hand is historically the “dirty” hand, reserved for personal hygiene, so refrain from using it to offer gifts or your business card. Don’t forget to have the other side of your business card translated in the language of the country in which you are doing business if English is not the primary language spoken there.

  Eye Contact
  Meeting one’s gaze is revered in the United States. We determine if the other person is honest and trustworthy by whether s/he establishes eye contact with us. But don’t hold your gaze too long in Asia. A steady gaze is considered to be aggressive and even hostile. The rule to abide by is if you feel that your eye contact is making someone uncomfortable, look away. In most cultures, intermittent eye contact is acceptable.

  Greetings
  Greetings can be tricky. Handshaking is firm and relatively short (three seconds) in North American and Northern European business. However a lighter (limp) but lingering handclasp (10-12 seconds) is the norm in Asia. To make a great impression, go along with cultural norms. Observe. What you get should be what you give in return.

  Gifts
  In the United States, gift giving in business is regulated by Congress. There are limits to the value of gifts you receive from other American organizations. Other countries generally don’t have those limits and gift giving is an important part of business relationships. But there is an art to giving gifts. Knowing when to give, what to give, to whom to give it, and how to wrap it are equally important.

  In Asia, at your first meeting with a new client or supplier, exchanging gifts will be the norm. There are mandatory gift-giving holidays around the world. In Japan, gifts are exchanged July 15 or mid-year and at year’s end, on Jan. 1.

  Gifts representing your company, industry, or country should be made in your country. Some suggestions of appropriate gifts that work almost anywhere are picture books of your town or country, high-quality writing instruments, Native American artifacts, travel accessories such as candles, air purifiers, compasses (Muslims need to know the direction of Mecca), and zoom binoculars. Any intellectual gift — books, music and handicrafts (art) — will be appreciated.

  Some taboos: 
  > leather gifts given to Hindus
  > alcohol and any product which includes it as an ingredient given as gift to a Muslim
  > giving knives, which represent severing relationships (so forgo giving that lovely carving set)
  > a gift made in China given to a Japanese client.

  Women in Business
  In many cultures, women are not as easily accepted in the role of competent business people as the United States. Because of their cultural norms, it takes more time for international business contacts to trust a woman’s knowledge and competency. Be patient and maintain your professionalism. Often women are ignored at business meetings if they are there with male colleagues; historically they have been seen as assistants, not the ones in charge. It often is important for the group to overtly refer to the women and solicit their opinions on matters to keep all parties included in the meeting.

  Promptness
  Still another concept to grasp in order to successfully conduct business in the international arena is one of time. In all of Northern Europe, Scandinavia, the Netherlands, Germany, Switzerland, and Belgium, there is a high regard for promptness. Being 10 minutes early is appreciated. In the United States, Canada, United Kingdom, France, and Australia, promptness is appreciated. However, in Southern Europe (Spain, Italy, Greece), most of the Mediterranean, and Arabian Gulf Countries, a meeting may be scheduled for 2 p.m. and actually begin between 2:30 p.m. and 3:30 p.m. (except for banquets).

  In most of Latin America and Asia, it is even more lax, and appointed times are just estimates. You can’t go wrong by being on time; just bring a book to read or work to occupy you while you wait.

  Keep in mind that Americans are almost the only adults on earth who eat dinner at 6 p.m. Assume you will eat later than you are accustomed and keep that in mind when planning group dinners which include local colleagues.

“Etiquette teachers” giving wrong advice

I love to see all of the articles written about etiquette in across the world.  I keep up by using Google Alerts with the keywords “etiquette”, “business etiquette” and “international protocol”.  I don’t have time to read all the articles but sometimes, like today, I do.  A law school student at the University of Virginia wrote about an etiquette dinner given by Dr. Sharon Abrahams, the Miami-based director of professional development for international law firm McDermott Will & Emery. 

I think it is wonderful when lawyers and law students attend etiquette dinners and seek to learn the proper way to handle themselves in the real world.  What I cringe at is when the teacher teaches the wrong things.  The article stated that she taught them to put their napkin on their plate when finished.  Is she kidding?  Put your linen or cloth napkin on a dirty plate so that someone else has to remove it with food and sauce all over it?  No… you put your napkin to the left of your plate to indicate you will not be returning to the table. 

Dr. Abrahams had other advice for the students regarding appropriate dress.  The reporter stated that she said that men have more leeway to wear casual clothing {than women} because their professional images are not so closely tied to appearance.  Again, is she kidding?  The way you present yourself, whether for men or women, determines how you will be treated by others.  Both sexes should aspire to dressing in the most polished way possible so that their clothing is not a negative distraction and reflects their level of professionalism.

From the article I understand that Dr. Abrahams earned her PhD in education and I am impressed that she chooses to teach this important subject to young legal professionals.  I only hope she learns the proper etiquette to teach so that her students won’t look foolish following her advice.  There is a generally accepted standard of proper etiquette which is what most etiquette teachers teach.  We don’t make it up and we don’t base it upon our own upbringing.  We must keep a consistent message.  Most of all, it has to be based upon common sense and its reasoning has to be explained to the students before they will remember the rules and follow them. 

Beijing Monitoring Etiquette Towards Olympic Standards

In advance of welcoming the world to Beijing, the Chinese government has waged an all- out clean-up etiquette campaign. It has been going on for three years and the “civic index” that was created and since monitored by Renmin University has shown promise in the forward direction. This article details the results of millions of etiquette flyers dropped on crowded locations, detaining boorish fans at sports events and the incredible push towards civil behavior in all realms of life in China. Thanks to the Olympics being held there, the Chinese people are learning the necessary skills of civility to compete with the world in other capitalistic ventures.

When I first visited Peiking (now Beijing) in 1972 with my family, there were few standards of behavior that I witnessed that were remotely as gracious as the ones I was learning as an American teenager. When I revisited in 1985 and 1989 the trend was still not swinging towards expected graciousness and proper etiquette as expected by Western business. However, as I teach my students, etiquette differs in different cultures and tolerance is necessary to get along without losing opportunity for relationships.

With the knowledge that China will be one of the lead stories on worldwide news channels every day for a month before and all during the games, the Chinese have to be commended for the efforts that they have taken on to make sure that their visitors have not only a wonderful sports experience but also take away the impression that China is ready to get along with everyone.  It is in the “getting along” that etiquette plays its important role and  I for one am glad to see that they are taking into consideration Western etiquette to make their guests comfortable.  I hope that visitors will enjoy the warmth of the people and the richness of their culture and history.

But… I also hope that visitors take etiquette lessons before they go and show off how civil their countrymen can be.  From my personal experience working in 102 countries over the past 25 years, etiquette lessons need to be learned by most of those I met.  Relationships, business, social encounters, sporting events, travel, and whatever else occupies one’s life are all enhanced in a very positive way by taking care of the other person like you would like to be taken care of yourself.    I can’t wait to see how it all works out at the Olympics this summer.  In the meantime, I continue to offer classes and private consultations to those who desire a savvier life.

http://sport.guardian.co.uk/breakingnews/feedstory/0,,-7293000,00.html

10 Rules of Email

Email etiquette is at the top of most people’s list (of those who use it, and that includes almost everyone) of Pet Peeves. While we can’t expect others to listen to our instruction about how to use it properly, as an etiquette expert, I am stating 10 simple facts. There are many more, but we’ll start here.

Once upon a time, business correspondence had very precise rules. Any business person knew that the date was typed below the address, paragraphs were indented or flush-left, depending upon fashion and every letter had both a salutation and a complimentary close.

Today, much of our business is conducted by electronic mail, and the formal letter has nearly gone the way of the quill. Here’s our top-ten list of proper etiquette for e-mail.

1) Always include a subject, even when replying to a message that arrived without one. Your readers must know why you’re writing. Omit the subject and your e-mail may be ignored. Make sure your subject reflects what is in the email.

2) Know who’s receiving your message. Don’t “Reply All” if you don’t know who’s included, or you might be corresponding with someone you shouldn’t. We know of an e-mail invitation to a retirement party that included the company’s CEO. Everyone who responded chose to reply to all. After the 100th response cluttered his e-mail box, the CEO had the party’s sponsor fired. Which brings us to our next rule…

3) DON’T use business e-mail for personal or social matters. It’s the same as stealing and considered very bad form. If you must e-mail friends, obtain a personal account. By law, all messages are considered property of the corporation, and you don’t know who might be reading them. By the same token…

4) If you wouldn’t say it in the middle of Main Street, don’t write it in an e-mail message. Lawyers can now demand e-mail files during discovery, especially in employment lawsuits. One manager lost his job and reputation when his colorful e-mail describing a female employee became evidence in a sexual harassment suit.

5) Double-check before you hit “send.” Run a spell-checker, and read the message over for grammar and clarity. Electronic mail is the business letter of the 90s, and sloppy correspondence reflects badly on you and your company.

6) Don’t be a junk e-mailer. Never send messages to broadcast lists of recipients. Many businesses made more enemies than customers by sending unsolicited e-mail advertisements across the Internet. Other don’ts: forwarding chain letters and sending test letters to anyone who hasn’t given their permission.

7) Know your e-mail program, and your recipients’. Some programs can’t handle attachments, others may garble them. Your readers can’t read the attachment unless they have equivalent software. It’s always safer to include everything in the body of the message. Even when you know attachments will work, be sure to list the program that created them. “This attachment was written in MS Word 6.0” will save your readers a lot of time and trouble.

Date and “sign” all your correspondence. Yes, that information is included in the header of your message, but that doesn’t mean it will appear on a print-out .

9) Don’t confuse matters by using more than one medium. If you’re sending e-mail, don’t fax or US Mail the same document, unless you say so in the e-mail.

10) Use common sense in forwarding messages. Some people return the original e-mail with their reply. That practice results in chains of eight or ten messages, in reverse chronological order: Confusing AND time consuming. Also, refrain from copying the recipient’s boss, your boss, the boss’s boss and so on unless it’s absolutely necessary. Your correspondent may be less candid doing electronic business with you if all will be revealed publicly to upper management.

Dining Skills for the Savvy Professional

On February 20, 2008, The Lett Group will be presenting Dining Skills for the Savvy Professional at the University Club of Washington,DC. 
In a fun and creative atmosphere, learn the skills you need to navigate through casual and formal dining situations. Learn how to recognize and use all types of flatware, table settings, small talk and conversation topics, toasting, handling mishaps, host and guest duties and much more. Four course meal included in participant fee. 

Times: 6:30pm until 9:30 pm.

To learn more details and register go to www.lettgroup.com/dining-with.html

This seminar is open to the public.  Business Proper dress is required for the evening.

Reservations will be taken until February 10th.

Dining Skills for the Savvy Professional Seminar

On February 20, 2008, The Lett Group will present our popular seminar, Dining Skills for the Savvy Professional at the University Club of Washington, DC. In a fun and interactive atmosphere, learn the skills you need to navigate through casual and formal dining situations. Learn how to recognize and use all types of flatware, table settings, conversation topics, toasting, handling mishaps, host and guest duties and much more. Four course meal included in participant fee.

For more detail and to register go to www.lettgroup.com/dining-with.html .