I have really appreciated your visits to this blog over the past five years.  In an effort to consolidate The Lett Group brand, I have moved all current and future blog activity to http://itsapropos.wordpress.com .  All of the posts from this blog have been moved to that one so you can still find them if there are any you would like to re-read.

See you over at It’s Apropos!

I love to brag about my college alma mater but usually it is because of the incredible research they do there or even the football or basketball teams’ records.  This time I am bragging because two students are demonstrating what I try to teach in my classes and share in my speeches.  They are making a difference in people’s lives by being nice.  Watch this video and see if you don’t agree with me.  It doesn’t take much to make someone else’s day brighter.  And, it doesn’t cost you a cent.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QShPNcjgtfs

Everyday, I become ever more increasingly aware of everyone that my life touches on a day to day basis. Recently I was trying to calculate how many lives would be affected each and every day if everyone I said hello to, wished a good day to, or waved into traffic during the rush hour, did the same to everyone their lives touched..

Everyday of this year, I am going to continue to improve my life and the lives of those that I come in contact with. Each and every day, I challenge you to have a positive affect on your life and on the lives of those around you. Kindness is contagious and it can spread through a community as quickly as the flu.

Here are just a few tips on etiquette and gestures that will help you make a difference in your life and the lives of others:

• The best antidote to sarcasm when you are on the receiving end, is a good laugh.
• Being fashionably late is considered rude.
• If you arrive at a door before other people, simply open it, hold it open, let those behind you go first, and watch for all the smiles and thank you’s.
• A formal invitation requires a formal handwritten response.
• In countries where food is eaten with the hands, such as Africa and India, it is usually only eaten with the right hand.
• A pilsner, old-fashioned, and snifter are glasses
• How you present yourself to the world is how most will know you.
• The written word, no matter how brief, resonates longer than the spoken word.
• When dining is Asia, it is considered polite to appear reluctant to enter the dining room and the hostess often has to announce dinner several times.

As I talk to people in all walks of life, it becomes apparent that most everyone is worn out with rudeness and the lack of the simple gestures of kindness. Young and old alike want to return back to the good old days, when kindness ran rampant, which was prevalent in our recent past. The mature remember what is was like, and the young realize that there must be a better way. As you talk to your children, talk to them about how to treat others, how to handle difficult situations involving their contemporaries, I guarantee you will find an interest and a willingness to understand that will astonish you. Our children are just waiting for us to start the spark that will launch them into an increased awareness of an interest in removing the uncomfortable feelings of rudeness and replacing them with acts of kindness.

As you become more aware of those around you, ask yourself these questions, how did we get to where we are today? What values are we teaching our children? What values are going to be passed on down the line to our children’s children? It is obvious where our children formulate their values, it is from us. They are going to absorb and learn from us, so we must be careful what we purposely and inadvertently teach them. Our children, young and old alike, are the most important resource our country has. Let us teach them about etiquette and encourage them to reintroduce it back into society.

If each of us made a special effort to teach just one child every day something about etiquette, one can only imagine what a difference we can make, what a difference they can make, what a difference you can make.

]]> http://etiquettepro.wordpress.com/2009/03/29/a-few-good-tips/feed/ 0 Cynthia http://etiquettepro.wordpress.com/2009/03/12/compulsory-etiquette-classes/ http://etiquettepro.wordpress.com/2009/03/12/compulsory-etiquette-classes/#comments Thu, 12 Mar 2009 16:44:29 +0000 Cynthia Lett http://etiquettepro.wordpress.com/?p=84 ]]>

This is an old article but since I just found it, it is news to me.  Brighton College on the southern English coast started etiquete classes for 13-14-year-olds because the Headmaster, Richard Cairns, decided it was time his pupils were taught a few lessons in good manners.  He decided this after learning that employers were dismayed by the numbers of undergraduates who were not equipped for the business world.  Pupils will learn how to iron a shirt properly, dance the waltz, when to take off a jacket or go to the toilet, who to talk to during which courses at the dinner table and other finer points of etiquette.

Each Thursday, pupils will be invited by formal invitation to which he will have to respond in a written formal manner and not by email, text message or phone to the Headmaster’s home.  They will be taught to deal with food they do not like, how to use the right cutlery and how to talk with fellow guests, among other niceties.

In 2002 I started the Etiquette in School Foundation which has the mission to incorporate etiquette skills into the curriculum of the classroom rather than as an after-school activity.  We accept new ideas from anyone who would like to help.  Call us at 301-458-7306 for more information.

1/20/2009: Selling Power – Solutions for Sales Management Presentations

If you are giving a presentation in a foreign country, you need to think about what you are saying nonverbally as well as verbally. Some gestures that are perfectly acceptable in the U.S. may be offensive in other countries, says Cynthia Lett, CEO of The Lett Group, consultants and trainers in international business protocol and etiquette. Anything people see your body doing is considered a gesture, says Lett. That’s why it’s extremely important to pay attention to body language when visiting and presenting in a foreign culture. For example, in the U.S. and in many countries around the world, we form a circle with our fingers to indicate the “OK” sign. However, in Australia, Finland, and Germany, this gesture is considered obscene, says Lett. In Japan, the OK sign means “money.” In France, it has the additional meaning of “worthless.”

But, let’s back up a moment. The first thing you will do when you get to your foreign destination is to greet people and the way you greet people in other parts of the world can be vastly different, says Lett. When you visit an Asian culture, you may get a handshake and a bow. In the Latin culture, the greetings are both handshakes and hugs and kisses, however, warns Lett, it’s not appropriate to hug and kiss the first time you meet someone. If they have met you before, expect it. Keep in mind there are always exceptions, says Lett. For example, Argentina follows European protocol rather than the Latin protocol. “In the Arab-Gulf region, Thailand, or Indonesia, understand that women may not be shaking hands with you,” Lett says. “Don’t put out your hand, wait until they put out their hands and reciprocate.” “Keep balance in mind,” Lett adds. “If you get a two-handed handshake, match it.” In other countries, the business card is considered a gift. Don’t accept it with your left hand; the left hand is considered the dirty hand in many cultures, so don’t extend it either. However, you can accept a business card with both hands. In some countries you should pass it and accept with both hands. For example, passing something with one hand, even your own business card in Japan is considered very rude. “You are expected to treat a business card with respect and don’t just put it in your pocket, toss it in your briefcase or purse,” says Lett. “Take the time to read it.”

Once you get the greeting out of the way, you’re still not out of the woods. Now you need to remember what you can and can’t do while you are presenting. In some cultures, you shouldn’t show your back to people. Always try to face them. In other countries, if you use your hands and arms to gesture, it is sometimes viewed as aggressive. If you must talk with your hands, says Lett, always gesture with an open hand and never with a fist or finger. “In our culture we don’t pay much attention to the feet and legs and because of that we offend a lot of people,” says Lett. “For instance, in many cultures, the idea of showing the soles of your feet is insulting. In the Middle and Near East, Thailand, Japan, and France, showing the soles of the feet demonstrates disrespect. You are exposing the lowest and dirtiest part of your body – insulting to say the least. So don’t cross your legs, either keep your feet on the floor or cross your legs at the ankles.”

“Other cultures’ rules came from a long, long history,” Lett explains. “In the U.S., we don’t have such a long history and you have to remember, we did a lot of things in defiance of the European countries when we first settled in America. We did that because we were escaping their way of life. I think people tend to forget that. So wherever you are going, the great rule of thumb is do research ahead of time. Don’t assume what happens in China happens in Peru.

” For more information, Lett recommends the following books: Gestures: The Dos and Taboos of Hosting International Visitors (John Wiley & Sons, 1990) by Robert Axtell, and Kiss, Bow or Shake Hands, The Bestselling Guide to Doing Business in More Than 60 Countries, 2nd Edition (Adams Media Corporation, 2006) by Terri Morrison and Wayne A. Conway.

Visit www.lettgroup.com for more information.

By Cynthia Lett

Attending and exhibiting at trade shows is all about building relationships, learning about new products and services and maybe negotiating a deal.

But everything starts with the relationship.

It is a fact that we like to do business with people we like. We are less willing to make a deal and write a check to a company represented by disrespectful, ignorant people.

You may say, “Well, of course! That is obvious.” But if it were so obvious, why do so many people treat potential buyers and vendors so poorly?

The first impression we have of a company or product is the person who represents it. As a buyer, when you explore a booth on a trade show floor, you should notice how you are greeted? Is it with a smile? Did someone shake your hand? Were you even acknowledged?

How many times have you walked into a booth on a trade room floor and were ignored completely?

It’s happened to me. When that happens, it is my cue to walk out quickly. If the booth attendant cannot be bothered to greet me appropriately, this is a company I cannot trust to meet my needs.

This is where knowing the proper etiquette and using it makes a huge difference between you and your competition.

A first impression is made within five seconds of meeting someone. We make a judgment about them and how we will interact based on their clothes, facial expressions, energy, confidence, personal power, perceived authority, posture, personal grooming, and most of all, by the way they treat us.

For five seconds, that’s a lot of information being formulated. So you have to ask yourself, do you make that first impression a positive one? Or, do you leave the impression that the person is an imposition, a waste of your time and not worth making the effort.

To make first impressions powerful and positive, keep these tips in mind:

* Acknowledge the other person.

* Smile.

* Look the person in the eye.

* Extend your hand first to shake hands.

* Shake hands–web to web and no more than three pumps.

* Pump from the wrist, not the shoulder or the elbow.

* Make the handshake firm, not bone crushing. Don’t give a “limp fish shake.”

* Lean forward from the shoulder to put energy into your greeting.

* Introduce yourself by stating your first and last name and position.

* Whether you are the buyer or seller, always extend or accept a greeting–don’t wander into a booth, grab a brochure or sample and run out without making a connection.

* Make the encounter worthwhile–even for the few moments you are there. Ask questions. Attempt to learn something about the product, service or buyer’s needs.

* If the product is not of use to you or your company, thank the booth attendants and say goodbye without wasting their time. This shows respect for their business and their time. It will also leave a positive impression about you, because you never know when you may encounter them again.

* If you are the seller, qualify the lead by asking specific questions. Too many generalities waste time for both of you. Examples of good specific questions are, “Do you believe that our product would be helpful to you?” or “What prompted you to stop by our booth?” Remember, wasting someone else’s time is a huge etiquette faux pas.

* Ask how you can follow up with them if you intend to do that. Don’t ask, “May I have your card?” That is a demand for a gift, not a request for information. The reason we want someone’s business card is to have information for follow-up. If you make the demand for a card, you may embarrass them if they don’t have any to give. What you really are requesting is a way to follow up. Ask instead, “What is the best way to follow up with you?” or “Where may I send additional information?” This leaves a classier impression and respect for the other person.

* Understand the corporate culture. Is it informal? Does everyone use first names immediately? Or does it tend to be more formal? If so, don’t forget to use an honorific (Mr., Ms., Dr., etc.).

* If someone else is occupying your attention when new guests come into your booth, at a break in the conversation, make an introduction and tell them that you will be with them momentarily. This gesture demonstrates several positives. You are acknowledging their presence, and you are making it easy for them to meet someone new.

* People who employ good etiquette act as a resource for others. Know who else is exhibiting and where they are located in case your new prospect would like to know.

* You are either a host or a guest in all situations. If you are the exhibitor, the host role is yours. Everyone who comes to your booth is coming to your office-away-from-the-office. Treat them with the respect you would use if they had made an appointment to meet you in the office. If you are a buyer, you are the guest. As a guest, you have certain duties as well. They include, being present in the conversation; being polite with your questions; making requests, not demands; not wasting anyone’s time; and introducing yourself.

* Don’t be a complainer. Do you like to hear about someone’s aching feet or their hunger for lunch?

* Don’t sit down. A person sitting is unapproachable at a show. If buyers want to learn about your product, and you are waiting for them in a chair, chances are they will walk on by and feel put off.

* Don’t eat in the booth. If you are not in the position to share what you are eating with people who come into your booth, don’t eat in front of them. (Also, chewing gum is a huge faux pas!).

* Be careful not to talk about a function you attended or plan to attend unless everyone at the show has been invited. Nothing makes people feel more uneasy than hearing about not being invited to an event. Along these lines, never make an invitation to one person if anyone else not invited could possibly hear.

* If you said “hello,” you must say “goodbye.” Don’t disappear without closure of some sort.

* Shake hands to say “goodbye.”

* Turn off your cell phone, unless you are on a break. If you must be in contact at all times, invest in a vibrating pager or cell phone. If either does go off in the company of others, ask if you may put the caller on hold until you can excuse yourself to a quiet, private location to talk. Don’t carry on a conversation in front of anyone in your booth. That is a strong form of ignorance. It is the same as broadcasting your business on the front page of The Washington Post.

* If you don’t know what to talk about to break the ice, consider what things you have in common. First, you are at a tradeshow, so ask if it meets their expectations. You had to travel, so ask how their trip was. You probably heard the general session opening speech, so ask their opinions about it. Compliment the guests in your booth on a positive aspect of their company. This could be the number of years they have been in business, their recent merger, their standing on the Fortune 500 list or a recent “win” they had in securing a big contract. Nothing makes someone pay attention to you in a positive way than being complimented.

* No gossiping. When it is slow in the booth, many salespeople revert to gossip to pass the time. This will kill your professional image quickly–even with your colleagues who are also participating.

* Brush up on your grammar. Poorly spoken English causes others to regard you as uneducated. Even a college degree doesn’t count if you use the language improperly. Also remember, using swear words are taboo for a professional image. They also make others quite uncomfortable.

While this is a short list, the tips are important to cultivate proper behaviors at a trade show, or any business function.

Keep this in mind: Treat others with the respect, kindness and professionalism. If you do, you remain in good standing with your competition. You can really stand out if you master some of the suggestions.

Once you incorporate these behavior tips into your approach at a trade show, you will enjoy your relationship-building efforts and make each trade show a more effective use of your time and efforts and each business encounter more productive.

Cynthia Lett is director and CEO of The Lett Group, an international leader in etiquette and protocol training. Her weekly talk show, “It’s Apropos!” can be heard on the Internet at www.success-talk.com. The Lett Group teaches a seminar called Trade Show & Meetings Etiquette. To contact her, call +1 888 933 3883, or visit www.lettgroup.com.

I often talk with new college graduates about the best practices for getting that important first job.  Some take my advice and land the job that will launch a successful career.  Some don’t.  This terrific article by Sarah E. Needleman, which was published in the Wall Street Journal July 29, 2008, sheds light on why so many young professionals are having a tough time getting started in their chosen career.  I would love your comments after you have had a chance to read it.

All the best,

Cynthia

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB121729233758791783.html

I and my family are members of the Friends of the National Zoo in Washington, DC.  Last weeks we had a few inches of snow and the attached slideshow is of several of the animals enjoying the snow day.  I hope it makes you smile as it does me every time I see it.  Feel free to pass it along.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/nationalzoo/sets/72157613060354782/show/

Enjoy your day,

Cynthia

I found this gem and believe in it wholeheartedly.  Please take note!

- Cynthia

December 02, 2008

10 Things Never To Put In Email

This is an interesting article I found that shows the current state of business casual attire in Japan.

The Daily Yomiuri – Osaka,Japan

by Akiko Yoshinaga / Yomiuri Shimbun Staff Writer

The government’s Cool Biz energy-saving campaign is firmly embedded in offices across the country.

People are leaving their jackets and ties at home in the summer heat, but some people are apparently taking Cool Biz too far, causing discomfort and embarrassment to coworkers.

A 34-year-old female dispatch worker at an office in Tokyo’s Marunouchi business district is constantly troubled by a male employee who sits next to her. The man does not wear anything under his shirt. When he returns to the office after being outside, his sweat causes his shirt to stick to his skin, making it see-through.

On occasions such as when the man is handing the woman documents, she is at a loss as to where to look.

“It’s an awful feeling,” she said. “Isn’t this some kind of sexual harassment?”

The woman confided in another male employee, who had a word with the man in question.

But the undershirtless man just snapped back: “Before shorts and briefs were invented in Europe, shirts doubled as underwear. Wearing layers of underwear is odd!” showing no indication he would change his ways.

“People who wear underwear dry quickly after perspiring,” a spokesman for Gunze Ltd., an Osaka-based underwear maker, said. “[Wearing underwear] can also help prevent evaporative cooling.”

Some women also have caused problems by showing too much flesh in the summer months.

Camisoles are in fashion for women this summer. With many of them having frills, being made of lace or having thin shoulder straps, some men feel they too closely resemble underwear.

People such as older managers are reportedly hostile toward female attire they deem unsuitable for the workplace. They dislike it when women show off bare legs without stockings or wear mules–slip-on shoes that can be misconstrued to be beach sandals.

“Camisoles and tanktops are not suitable [for work],” CareerRise Corp., a personnel dispatch firm based in Chuo Ward, Tokyo, advises women registered with the firm on its homepage: “Skirts long enough to cover the knees are appropriate.”

A spokesman for the company was strict on the matter, saying, “We [advise this] because we have to avoid creating a bad image at companies we send staff to.”

Chiyoko Anju, an employment and business etiquette instruction consultant, also is critical of overly revealing clothing.

“People’s first impressions are based on what a person wears,” Anju says. “Wearing clothes that expose skin or casual attire creates a image of a selfish person who’s brash or showy. A person misses out before they know it and should realize that clothing makes a difference to their salary.”

Chuo Ward-based Link and Motivation Inc., a management consultancy, has created playing cards for young employees. One of the cards states: “Low-slung trousers [hanketsu in Japanese] will be judged as illegal [also hanketsu].”

The cards are aimed at women who wear low-rise jeans that expose their underwear when they stoop over. Employees know the cards well and have reportedly helped create an environment in which some male employees jokingly call out, “Hanketsu!” to their female counterparts.

Perhaps it is necessary for people to step back a little from the latest fashions for the sake of smooth work relationships.

(Aug. 4, 2008)

24/04/2008
One in ten UK bosses has fired an employee for swearing at work.

- 47% would fire for bad language in the workplace

- 96% of employees believe swearing is unacceptable

- A foul mouth is no.1and no.2 in top ten office offenses

As Gordon Ramsay enforces a no swearing rule in his restaurants, a new report out today from TheLadders.co.uk reveals that one in ten UK bosses has fired an employee for swearing at work; whilst 17% have shown employees the red card for bad manners such as lunchtime drinking, personal calls and gossiping.

The poll of more than one thousand bosses conducted by TheLadders.co.uk the UK’s biggest search and selection site for senior executives, reveals that 47% of bosses would fire for bad language whilst 96% of senior managers said that they would find a foul mouthed colleague unacceptable to work alongside in the office.

In the current “F” Word Culture, TheLadders.co.uk report looked at how seriously senior managers viewed manners and office etiquette. 97% of respondents believed that good office etiquette was important whilst 57% said that they would fire an employee for bad manners. Seventy six per cent have given an official warning for etiquette offences such as a messy desk, flossing teeth or picking noses, bad breath or wearing trainers.

The top ten office etiquette offenses deemed unacceptable by senior managers are:

1.Bad hygiene (97%) – smelly breath and dirty clothes etc..

2.Bad language (96%)

3.Bad habits (95%) – flossing teeth with paperclip, picking nose etc..

4.Wastefulness (86%)

5.Not offering to share chores (86%)

6.Eating smelly food in the office (80%)

7.Eating someone else’s food out of the fridge/from their desk (79%)

8.Messy desk/office area and littering etc. (78%)

9.Loud talking (75%)

10.Blackberries in meetings (73%)

Nearly half of bosses find smoking breaks unacceptable whilst the use of personal technology – i.e. instant messaging (56%), listening to your ipod (56%) and blackberries in meetings (73%) are also particularly irksome.

Sarah Drew, General Manager of TheLadders.co.uk says: “Some argue that in the 21st century employers should move with the times and accept swearing as part of the every day vernacular, particularly when it’s glamorised by the likes of Gordon Ramsay. You can also argue that swearing eases stress at work and is a way of bonding with fellow colleagues. But employees beware, in every office there exists an invisible line between professional and unprofessional behaviour and swearing Ramsay style definitely crosses the line.”

From onrec.com

Editor’s comment: I previously wrote about the negative impact of swearing.  As the sign in a barbershop in Huntingburg, Indiana states – “Profanity is the effort of a feeble mind to express itself forcibly” – swearing is not only offensive to almost everyone, it proves your lack of a powerful vocabulary.

Over the years, I have heard the statement over and over again, “I interviewed but never heard back from them.”  Recently I have been experiencing the same dismay.  One day in January this year, I was asked to meet with the General Manager of a hotel that was opening in our area.  The appointment took half of my day for a fifteen minute interview.  I was told that I would hear from him by the end of the week (four days later).  I heard nothing.  Immediately after I returned from the interview, I sent a handwritten note to both the General Manager and his secretary thanking them for their time to meet with me. Another week went by – no call.  After the third week I called to ask if they had hired another company to do etiquette training for their group and was told no they had not.  I was assured by the secretary that she would get back to me about the status of our proposal in the next day or two.  Eight weeks later, no call.

Considering that the General Manager of the hotel was hiring our company to provide etiquette training for his staff because he said he valued knowledge of the subject, you would think that he would exercise proper etiquette and return phone calls and keep his promises.

I find it unfortunate that a company was willing to take my time to go to their office but does not have the grace to treat contractors (or would-be contractors) with the grace they want us to teach their employees.   This was not the first time this has happened, but the practice seems to be getting much worse.  I would love to hear about your stories similar to this one.

• When I first started planning international meetings more than 20 years ago, “going global” was the catchphrase of the day. Companies sought new markets outside of the United States and associations sought new membership. When I started planning meetings abroad, my focus was strictly on logistics: freight forwarding, negotiating in foreign currencies, collaborating with airlines, tax deductibility, choosing activities for attendees to enjoy while they were in the destination, and producing a positive experience that would not be forgotten … all important aspects of international meetings.

  I didn’t realize I was overlooking one of the most critical parts of the international meeting experience: protocol. As an international meeting planner, I also needed to assume the role of protocol officer without the title. I quickly learned that it was my job to understand cultural expectations to get the job done. Here are some protocol tips I share from my hard-earned experience:

  Communication Styles
  Communication is not the same all over the rest of the world as it is in the United States — and I am not referring to obvious language differences. Americans like to “get to the point” and to know definitively what is going to happen at each step of the way. Our communications, both written and verbal, are more hurried. We often use “shorthand English,” thinking the other party will understand our meaning. For example, responding to questions from a Japanese meeting planning team, one U.S. hotel sales executive said, “No problem,” which was interpreted as “No, there is a problem.” The hotel lost the business.

  In Asia, the Middle East, and in many part of Europe, communication is more looped. It starts with social chat, may include a mention of the work at hand, and then goes back to social chat. Americans may become frustrated with the time it can take to get consensus on a point, but should not try to hurry the process. Understand that the relationship between the parties is more important than the contract. In negotiations with vendors, “no” doesn’t mean no most of the time; it means maybe. Sometimes, as in Asian countries, “maybe” means no.

  Dress
  How you dress sets the tone for your business relationships overseas. Fortunately, the conservative navy or grey suit for men and women is proper just about everywhere. It conveys a sense of professionalism. For women, a modest neckline is just as important.

  You may not have thought about it, but colors have a strong influence in how you are perceived abroad. While red is a power color in the United States, in parts of Africa it is a color of mourning. In Asia, it is a lucky color, while in Russia and many countries of the former Soviet Union; red still stands for communism and the blood of revolution. In Latin America, the color purple is associated with death. In Asia, white is the color of mourning. Color consideration must be given to gifts as well as dress.

  Business Cards
  You will need to hand out twice as many business cards overseas as you would expect to hand out during a meeting at home. In almost every office meeting, you will give one to the receptionist as well as to your contact. Always give your business card with your right hand or both hands. The left hand is historically the “dirty” hand, reserved for personal hygiene, so refrain from using it to offer gifts or your business card. Don’t forget to have the other side of your business card translated in the language of the country in which you are doing business if English is not the primary language spoken there.

  Eye Contact
  Meeting one’s gaze is revered in the United States. We determine if the other person is honest and trustworthy by whether s/he establishes eye contact with us. But don’t hold your gaze too long in Asia. A steady gaze is considered to be aggressive and even hostile. The rule to abide by is if you feel that your eye contact is making someone uncomfortable, look away. In most cultures, intermittent eye contact is acceptable.

  Greetings
  Greetings can be tricky. Handshaking is firm and relatively short (three seconds) in North American and Northern European business. However a lighter (limp) but lingering handclasp (10-12 seconds) is the norm in Asia. To make a great impression, go along with cultural norms. Observe. What you get should be what you give in return.

  Gifts
  In the United States, gift giving in business is regulated by Congress. There are limits to the value of gifts you receive from other American organizations. Other countries generally don’t have those limits and gift giving is an important part of business relationships. But there is an art to giving gifts. Knowing when to give, what to give, to whom to give it, and how to wrap it are equally important.

  In Asia, at your first meeting with a new client or supplier, exchanging gifts will be the norm. There are mandatory gift-giving holidays around the world. In Japan, gifts are exchanged July 15 or mid-year and at year’s end, on Jan. 1.

  Gifts representing your company, industry, or country should be made in your country. Some suggestions of appropriate gifts that work almost anywhere are picture books of your town or country, high-quality writing instruments, Native American artifacts, travel accessories such as candles, air purifiers, compasses (Muslims need to know the direction of Mecca), and zoom binoculars. Any intellectual gift — books, music and handicrafts (art) — will be appreciated.

  Some taboos: 
  > leather gifts given to Hindus
  > alcohol and any product which includes it as an ingredient given as gift to a Muslim
  > giving knives, which represent severing relationships (so forgo giving that lovely carving set)
  > a gift made in China given to a Japanese client.

  Women in Business
  In many cultures, women are not as easily accepted in the role of competent business people as the United States. Because of their cultural norms, it takes more time for international business contacts to trust a woman’s knowledge and competency. Be patient and maintain your professionalism. Often women are ignored at business meetings if they are there with male colleagues; historically they have been seen as assistants, not the ones in charge. It often is important for the group to overtly refer to the women and solicit their opinions on matters to keep all parties included in the meeting.

  Promptness
  Still another concept to grasp in order to successfully conduct business in the international arena is one of time. In all of Northern Europe, Scandinavia, the Netherlands, Germany, Switzerland, and Belgium, there is a high regard for promptness. Being 10 minutes early is appreciated. In the United States, Canada, United Kingdom, France, and Australia, promptness is appreciated. However, in Southern Europe (Spain, Italy, Greece), most of the Mediterranean, and Arabian Gulf Countries, a meeting may be scheduled for 2 p.m. and actually begin between 2:30 p.m. and 3:30 p.m. (except for banquets).

  In most of Latin America and Asia, it is even more lax, and appointed times are just estimates. You can’t go wrong by being on time; just bring a book to read or work to occupy you while you wait.

  Keep in mind that Americans are almost the only adults on earth who eat dinner at 6 p.m. Assume you will eat later than you are accustomed and keep that in mind when planning group dinners which include local colleagues.

I love to see all of the articles written about etiquette in across the world.  I keep up by using Google Alerts with the keywords “etiquette”, “business etiquette” and “international protocol”.  I don’t have time to read all the articles but sometimes, like today, I do.  A law school student at the University of Virginia wrote about an etiquette dinner given by Dr. Sharon Abrahams, the Miami-based director of professional development for international law firm McDermott Will & Emery. 

I think it is wonderful when lawyers and law students attend etiquette dinners and seek to learn the proper way to handle themselves in the real world.  What I cringe at is when the teacher teaches the wrong things.  The article stated that she taught them to put their napkin on their plate when finished.  Is she kidding?  Put your linen or cloth napkin on a dirty plate so that someone else has to remove it with food and sauce all over it?  No… you put your napkin to the left of your plate to indicate you will not be returning to the table. 

Dr. Abrahams had other advice for the students regarding appropriate dress.  The reporter stated that she said that men have more leeway to wear casual clothing {than women} because their professional images are not so closely tied to appearance.  Again, is she kidding?  The way you present yourself, whether for men or women, determines how you will be treated by others.  Both sexes should aspire to dressing in the most polished way possible so that their clothing is not a negative distraction and reflects their level of professionalism.

From the article I understand that Dr. Abrahams earned her PhD in education and I am impressed that she chooses to teach this important subject to young legal professionals.  I only hope she learns the proper etiquette to teach so that her students won’t look foolish following her advice.  There is a generally accepted standard of proper etiquette which is what most etiquette teachers teach.  We don’t make it up and we don’t base it upon our own upbringing.  We must keep a consistent message.  Most of all, it has to be based upon common sense and its reasoning has to be explained to the students before they will remember the rules and follow them. 

In advance of welcoming the world to Beijing, the Chinese government has waged an all- out clean-up etiquette campaign. It has been going on for three years and the “civic index” that was created and since monitored by Renmin University has shown promise in the forward direction. This article details the results of millions of etiquette flyers dropped on crowded locations, detaining boorish fans at sports events and the incredible push towards civil behavior in all realms of life in China. Thanks to the Olympics being held there, the Chinese people are learning the necessary skills of civility to compete with the world in other capitalistic ventures.

When I first visited Peiking (now Beijing) in 1972 with my family, there were few standards of behavior that I witnessed that were remotely as gracious as the ones I was learning as an American teenager. When I revisited in 1985 and 1989 the trend was still not swinging towards expected graciousness and proper etiquette as expected by Western business. However, as I teach my students, etiquette differs in different cultures and tolerance is necessary to get along without losing opportunity for relationships.

With the knowledge that China will be one of the lead stories on worldwide news channels every day for a month before and all during the games, the Chinese have to be commended for the efforts that they have taken on to make sure that their visitors have not only a wonderful sports experience but also take away the impression that China is ready to get along with everyone.  It is in the “getting along” that etiquette plays its important role and  I for one am glad to see that they are taking into consideration Western etiquette to make their guests comfortable.  I hope that visitors will enjoy the warmth of the people and the richness of their culture and history.

But… I also hope that visitors take etiquette lessons before they go and show off how civil their countrymen can be.  From my personal experience working in 102 countries over the past 25 years, etiquette lessons need to be learned by most of those I met.  Relationships, business, social encounters, sporting events, travel, and whatever else occupies one’s life are all enhanced in a very positive way by taking care of the other person like you would like to be taken care of yourself.    I can’t wait to see how it all works out at the Olympics this summer.  In the meantime, I continue to offer classes and private consultations to those who desire a savvier life.

http://sport.guardian.co.uk/breakingnews/feedstory/0,,-7293000,00.html

Email etiquette is at the top of most people’s list (of those who use it, and that includes almost everyone) of Pet Peeves. While we can’t expect others to listen to our instruction about how to use it properly, as an etiquette expert, I am stating 10 simple facts. There are many more, but we’ll start here.

Once upon a time, business correspondence had very precise rules. Any business person knew that the date was typed below the address, paragraphs were indented or flush-left, depending upon fashion and every letter had both a salutation and a complimentary close.

Today, much of our business is conducted by electronic mail, and the formal letter has nearly gone the way of the quill. Here’s our top-ten list of proper etiquette for e-mail.

1) Always include a subject, even when replying to a message that arrived without one. Your readers must know why you’re writing. Omit the subject and your e-mail may be ignored. Make sure your subject reflects what is in the email.

2) Know who’s receiving your message. Don’t “Reply All” if you don’t know who’s included, or you might be corresponding with someone you shouldn’t. We know of an e-mail invitation to a retirement party that included the company’s CEO. Everyone who responded chose to reply to all. After the 100th response cluttered his e-mail box, the CEO had the party’s sponsor fired. Which brings us to our next rule…

3) DON’T use business e-mail for personal or social matters. It’s the same as stealing and considered very bad form. If you must e-mail friends, obtain a personal account. By law, all messages are considered property of the corporation, and you don’t know who might be reading them. By the same token…

4) If you wouldn’t say it in the middle of Main Street, don’t write it in an e-mail message. Lawyers can now demand e-mail files during discovery, especially in employment lawsuits. One manager lost his job and reputation when his colorful e-mail describing a female employee became evidence in a sexual harassment suit.

5) Double-check before you hit “send.” Run a spell-checker, and read the message over for grammar and clarity. Electronic mail is the business letter of the 90s, and sloppy correspondence reflects badly on you and your company.

6) Don’t be a junk e-mailer. Never send messages to broadcast lists of recipients. Many businesses made more enemies than customers by sending unsolicited e-mail advertisements across the Internet. Other don’ts: forwarding chain letters and sending test letters to anyone who hasn’t given their permission.

7) Know your e-mail program, and your recipients’. Some programs can’t handle attachments, others may garble them. Your readers can’t read the attachment unless they have equivalent software. It’s always safer to include everything in the body of the message. Even when you know attachments will work, be sure to list the program that created them. “This attachment was written in MS Word 6.0” will save your readers a lot of time and trouble.

Date and “sign” all your correspondence. Yes, that information is included in the header of your message, but that doesn’t mean it will appear on a print-out .

9) Don’t confuse matters by using more than one medium. If you’re sending e-mail, don’t fax or US Mail the same document, unless you say so in the e-mail.

10) Use common sense in forwarding messages. Some people return the original e-mail with their reply. That practice results in chains of eight or ten messages, in reverse chronological order: Confusing AND time consuming. Also, refrain from copying the recipient’s boss, your boss, the boss’s boss and so on unless it’s absolutely necessary. Your correspondent may be less candid doing electronic business with you if all will be revealed publicly to upper management.

dining etiquette,manners at the table,business etiquette,eating properly

On February 20, 2008, The Lett Group will be presenting Dining Skills for the Savvy Professional at the University Club of Washington,DC. 
In a fun and creative atmosphere, learn the skills you need to navigate through casual and formal dining situations. Learn how to recognize and use all types of flatware, table settings, small talk and conversation topics, toasting, handling mishaps, host and guest duties and much more. Four course meal included in participant fee. 

Times: 6:30pm until 9:30 pm.

To learn more details and register go to www.lettgroup.com/dining-with.html

This seminar is open to the public.  Business Proper dress is required for the evening.

Reservations will be taken until February 10th.

On February 20, 2008, The Lett Group will present our popular seminar, Dining Skills for the Savvy Professional at the University Club of Washington, DC. In a fun and interactive atmosphere, learn the skills you need to navigate through casual and formal dining situations. Learn how to recognize and use all types of flatware, table settings, conversation topics, toasting, handling mishaps, host and guest duties and much more. Four course meal included in participant fee.

For more detail and to register go to www.lettgroup.com/dining-with.html .

 I was recently asked about a sterling silver Classic Twelve.  That really brought back memories!  My great grandmother had one but it has since disappeared from our family.  It is rare these days to find a Classic Twelve intact.
Very few Classic Twelves have survived for various reasons. Legacies didn’t help (one sibling inheriting the coffee pot, another inheriting the tea pot and a third getting the kettle and the tray, etc.) nor did The Great Depression during which time so much silver was sold for scrap to pay the bills.

Consisting of a coffee pot, tea pot, chocolate pot, hot water jug, sugar bowl with gilded interior (for brown sugar), sugar bowl with non-gilded interior (for white sugar), cream jug, milk jug, waste bowl, tea strainer with stand, kettle on stand, and an enormous tray, a Classic Twelve was THE high-Edwardian way to serve Afternoon Tea.

Wouldn’t it be nice to have a special pot just for chocolate that you pour and savor.  That would warm up a winter’s eve.

Vickie Elmer – writer for the Washington Post was kind enough to include my comments in an article published today in her column, “Working” on page D02, Business Section.

You can read the article here.  There are many other tips like stay sober, don’t try to show off on the dance floor, don’t make toasts, be friendly with everyone, don’t spend much time with people you work with every day in lieu of meeting others in the company that you haven’t met before.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/12/05/AR2007120502583.html

This article appeared in Boston Magazine.

11-11-2007 17:36

Casual Office Attire Losing Edge Worldwide

By Jane Han
Staff Reporter – The Korea Times

Business casuals are seemingly falling out of style worldwide as more companies are going back to suits and ties, pushed by the tough economy and misunderstanding of lenient dress codes.

Almost 50 percent of U.S. companies surveyed by the Society for Human Resources Management allowed employees to dress down in 2004, while less than 40 percent were accepting it this year. Likewise, U.K. businesses permitting casual wear dropped from 40 percent in 2000 to 30 percent in 2004.

“Many companies are starting to feel that employees are less effective at work dressed in casuals,” said Kim Young-hoon, a business etiquette specialist at Happy Training Consulting.

But not only are employers tightening up office dress codes, employees are also voluntarily wanting to go more professional.

“People dress up more in times of financial uncertainty and intense competition. It helps their sense of stability,” Gary Brody, president of the Marcraft Apparel Group, recently told the New York Times.

Although waning now, the casual boom enjoyed its peak with the dot-com craze of the late 1990s. While IT and creativity-focused firms still champion dressing down, others ― namely finance and customer-service related businesses ― are starting to redefine the term “business casual.”

So, what is business casual? Khakis and a polo shirt would be the textbook answer, but more are recommending that men add a jacket and women wear stockings.

Among the many that recently renounced the corporate attire are Lehman Brothers and Bear Stearns.

And they’re not regretting it, as a recent report by the Daily News Record, a men’s-wear news and trends publication, said that companies reinstating the shirt, tie and jacket rule reported as much as a 20-percent hike in productivity.

Some examples of local firms joining the run are GS E&C, POSCO and almost all banking firms.

To prevent employees from going overboard in casual-wear, GS last year issued a guideline to be followed, and POSCO clearly defines a business attire dress code in its employee handbook.

“Local IT firms are going toward an even more down-to-earth wardrobe, but many of the major corporations seem to be taking an opposite shift,” said Kim, the business etiquette specialist.

He added that even though firms outwardly say they root for “dressing casual for more creativity,” human resources still keep a close eye on anything “too much.”

Especially in the more conservative banking and finance sectors, Kim says it wouldn’t be hard to find sloppily dressed employees getting corrected by superiors.

Although the general trend is shifting toward more the serious, wardrobe decisions seem to be taking an industry split, where what works for Apple doesn’t necessarily work for Goldman Sachs.

jhan@koreatimes.co.kr

etiquette,networking,network,business etiquette,international protocol,first impressions,conversation,Cynthia Lett

By Cynthia W. Lett CPP, CEP

The title of this article suggests that you might be standing in front of a crowd of 300 and introducing yourself. Not really. You just met one guy who looks like he might be nice to talk with at this party you both are enjoying. But – did you realize when you said hello that you just met everyone he knows too? Well, you did.

When someone meets us for the first time, they are physically standing near us, looking at our face, hearing our voice, interpreting our words but … they are making an impression on us that we will likely share with anyone in our personal network of friends and family. If you decide that you don’t like the way he wears his clothes, or that he is not friendly and someone you know mentions his name to you, you will respond with your opinion about him. Be it good or bad, he has just been introduced in absentia to your friend. This is a scenario played out over and over again until it may come back to you directly. Has anyone ever said to you, “Oh, yes, I have heard a lot about you.”? What have they heard and from whom did they hear it? Who knows?

Sometimes your first introduction to someone is by phone. Impressions you make this way come from just your tone of voice and words. Body language is not available to solidify your message. The other person is most likely going to be in an office with others and inevitably able to render an immediate criticism of you to a coworker when hanging up. You are not there to defend or change their opinion. Therefore, being appropriate with your language, friendly in your tone and kind in your voice can make a great impression on their 300.

If there is a tip to take away, it would be that when you present yourself for the first time to someone, check your body language, tone of voice, and words. Make certain they are saying you are friendly, approachable and glad to meet them. Make sure your words are kind and appropriate and understandable. Don’t let cuss words slip into the conversation. Use the other person’s name when you say hello and goodbye. Keep the small talk happy talk.

The great impression you make on one person will be the impression they will share with the 300 people in their personal network. Hopefully you will do the same with them so when you talk about them to your 300, they will be considered in a positive way.

tipping,tips,tipping etiquette,international protocol,tipping protocol,etiquette

Tipping Tips around the World

By Cynthia W. Lett CEP CPP; Director, The Lett Group & International Society of Protocol & Etiquette Professionals

According to all the dictionaries, tips are something given voluntarily or beyond obligation usually for some service.  What we experience however is the expectation of a tip, whether or not the service has been exemplary.  In the United States we are used to tipping in restaurants and taxi cabs. We tip for personal services such as deliveries, doormen, massages, manicures and hairdressing. If we live in a large city we generally tip between 15 and 20%. In smaller towns 10% is often the norm but 15% is especially appreciated.  However, when we travel, the rules change and if we are not aware of them, our experiences may be less satisfying and more expensive than you needed to pay.   Generally, if you do some research before you go, you will find your traveling spirit more confident. 

In Europe, tipping isn’t automatic or as generous as in the United States.  In restaurants, 5- 10% is the norm but of course if someone was particularly attentive, you can give more.   Check the restaurant bill.  Often the gratuity (15%) is figured with the total and it will be stated at the bottom of the menu.  A couple of extra Euros is appreciated if the service has been outstanding.   In France gratuity is often not included (service non compris or s.n.c.), tip 5-10% by rounding up or leave the change from your bill.  It’s best to hand the tip directly to the waiter rather than leaving it on the table, especially in busy restaurants. Especially In Austria,Belgium,Denmark,Iceland,Germany,Liechtenstein,Luxembourg,Netherlands,Norway,Sweden,  Switzerland and the United Kingdom, you should be discreet and well-mannered and say the total number of Euros you’d like the waiter to keep (including his tip) when paying.  For instance, if the bill is €75, you hand him €100 while saying, “€85”.  You will have €10 returned and he has his tip.  If you are paying by credit card, the rule of thumb is to pay the tip in cash so you can be sure the wait person receives it.  If the service is bad and you have the choice what to tip, it is considered poor manners not to tip something.  5% is the minimum.  Be sure if it has been a really bad experience that you let the manager know the trouble discreetly, not bringing attention to yourself.  Loud and boisterous is not looked upon well in restaurants and is often the catalyst for the “Ugly American” moniker.

For taxis in the US the standard is 15% but in Europe tip 10% or round up the fare and you should be alright.  Tour guides expect something extra.  At the time of booking your tour, ask the company if gratuities are additional.  If they are, plan on a euro or two. 

At hotels, a Euro or two per bag is generous for the porter.  For the room maid, a couple of Euros at the end of your stay is appropriate if your room was kept clean.  I have found that if you give the tip on the first day, the service you receive is friendlier the rest of your stay.

Hairdressers in France and Britain are generally tipped 15%.  In Denmark and Sweden tips are not usual.   When I gave a tip of the equivalent of $5 US to my shampoo attendant in Paris, she told me that she is often forgotten when it comes to tips, especially from foreigners.  She said my gesture changed her thinking about Americans as being cheap.  For the accepted standards where you are, the hotel concierge knows best what is considered apropos when it comes to personal attendants.

Public restrooms in Europe are rarely free.  If you see a plate with a coin in it, match whatever that coin is.  The attendant may be there handing you a towel or soap.  About 30 Euro cents is an appropriate tip for him or her.

In South America: A tip is a propina in Spanish, gorjeta in Portuguese.

Like in Europe, a gratuity of 10-15% is usually added to your restaurant bill automatically.  Keep in mind that a small additional gratuity given directly to your server is much appreciated.  Don’t leave money on a restaurant table.   When I was in a restaurant in Santiago, Chile several years ago, I learned a valuable lesson.  It was an upscale restaurant and the meal was wonderful as well as the service.  While I left a tip of about 14%, the waiter was most grateful.  He was more grateful for my other tip because I told him he could have the book I was reading.  (I had just finished it and was happy to pass it along rather than tote it back to the US).  He told me that books from the United States are very expensive there and he and his wife will really enjoy this treat.  Sometimes, the best tip to leave is something other than money. 

Each country in South America has its own standard so a blanket statement about how much to tip won’t work.  However, keep in mind what city you are in (sophisticated like Buenos Aires or San Paolo or less so such as Quito or Sucre).  The higher the sophistication – the greater the expectation for a big tip. (Especially from Americans)

In Argentina:  In restaurants in the smaller cities and villages leave 10%. It is normal to leave 15% in Buenos Aires for restaurants and lounges/clubs.

Porters in 1-3 star hotels in Buenos Aires: $.50 – .75 per bag to porters and in the smaller cities, the same. $1.00 per bag in 4 & 5 start hotels in Buenos Aires.

In Bolivia:  Typically 10% in restaurants and taxis. $.50 – .75 per bag to porters.  Other types of tips (gifts )are also appreciated if they represent your country – think postcards.

Brazil is really two economies – big city and everywhere else.  In the big cities, 10% in restaurants which may already be stated on the menu, if not, leave 15%; 10-15% in hair salons; For porters in 1-3 star hotels – $.50 – .75 per bag., in 4 & 5 star hotels, 15% is normal. Taxi drivers don’t expect tips except in Rio, where 10% is normal.  If you choose an unmetered taxi, settle on the fare first.

In the smaller towns a 10% tip is fine.  For hotel porters the standard is $.50 per bag (even though when I was in Olinda, the hotel I stayed in didn’t have porters.  I gave the tip to the helpful front desk clerk who helped me)

Tipping in Chile is simply 10% of the bill in restaurants and $.75 per bag in hotels.  I found that the 1-3 star hotels often didn’t have porters but the front desk clerk would help with bags.  They get a tip.  Taxi drivers don’t expect a tip.

In Colombia, it depends where you are.  In Barranquilla where I spent a few days with my college roommate who was a local, we tipped 15-18% at upscale restaurants.  In Bogota, 10% is the standard in restaurants.  If you get your haircut, tip 10%.  In the finer hotels the porters get a $1.00 per bag; but in the 1-3 star establishments, $.75 per bag is fine.   Taxi drivers don’t expect anything.

In Ecuadorian restaurants, generally tax and gratuity are added to your restaurant bill, but if you have been treated well, an additional 10% is enough. In all hotels, the acceptable tip is $.50 – .75 per bag to handlers.  Taxi drivers don’t expect tips.  If you take a guided tour and you loved it, $3.00 per person is generous.

In Paraguay, restaurants that do not automatically add gratuity (it will say if they do at the bottom of your menu) then a tip of 10% is enough.  I found that my servers delighted in the other- than- monetary- tips I gave them.  Paperback books, picture books (postcards) and compliments to their managers were high on their list.  In taxis no tips are necessary.  The standard of $.50-$.75 per bag to handlers was the norm.

In Peru gratuity is added to your restaurant bill.  More is appropriate for great service – your discretion how much.  If you get your hair done at one of the ritzy salons, 10-15% is a normal tip.  Baggage handlers should get $.50 – .75 per bag .  Taxi drivers don’t expect tips but I gave my drivers 10% because they spoke English and gave me commentary while they drove.

Venezuela has two standards I found.  In the establishments catering to locals, 10% tip was common. In the tourist-focused establishments, 15% is expected.  This is due to the locals’ conception of how rich tourists are.  If you use unmetered taxis, agree in advance on the fare.  If the taxi is metered, 10% is standard.  In all levels of hotels $.75-$1.00 per bag was expected as a tip.

In Asia:  While for some protocols, each Asian country has their own, tipping is fairly uniform across the region – there isn’t much of it done.  But as in any sweeping generalization, there are exceptions.

In BANGKOK   if you are in an establishment that is more westernized, then tip as you would in the US or in Europe.  If it caters mostly to locals, then a tip is not expected.  I have yet to see someone turn one down though.  Tips are especially expected for massage services and 15% is common.

Some upscale restaurants will add a 10% service charge to the bill. If not, waiters will still expect a tip of  10% given directly to them. However, if you’re eating at a restaurant catering to locals a tip is not necessary.
If you stay at one of Bangkok’s many five-star establishments, expect to tip the porter 20 to 50 baht, depending on how many bags you have; the more bags, the higher tip per bag.
Bangkok cabs are metered, so there’s no haggling over your fare. Local custom is to round the fare up to the nearest five baht.

HONG KONG
While in Mainland China you will not usually be leaving a tip as it is generally frowned upon,  gratuity is absolutely necessary in this money-focused city at all but the lowest establishments. Even bathrooms in hotels have followed the European custom of having gratuity dishes.  If you see one, mimic the highest coin for your tip.

Most restaurants automatically add a 10% service charge to the bill, but the surcharge is often kept b the owner. If the service is good, add another 10% to the bill, up to HK$100 if you’re in an especially nice place. Remember to give the additional tip directly to your server.

Baggage Handling: HK$10 should do at most hotels. However at a 5 star hotel, a crisp HK$20 bill would be more acceptable.   From Americans $5 per bag is usually expected.

Taxi drivers often round up to the nearest dollar when making change. They keep the difference between the actual fare and the next even bill.   If you are paying with exact fare, you should do the rounding up too.

INDONESIA
While tipping is not the norm, many who serve tourist and international business clientele expect a little some extra.  It is alright though if you don’t tip.

At major hotels and high-end restaurants, a service charge and tax are added to your bill (10% service and 10% tax).  You don’t have to tip for porters at hotels or wait staff unless you feel the service is exceptional.

At the airport, you could get through on your own but to make your life easier, I suggest paying a porter about 5000rp per bag and letting them help you through customs.  Your trip will start off happier if you do.  If you just want them to get your luggage to your transport, 2,000rp for small bags and 3,000rp for large bags is expected.

Taxi drivers don’t expect a tip but if they are helpful to you with luggage or with directions, a 1,000rp tip is appropriate.  If you use a car-hire service, a 3,000rp tip is more appropriate.  Be careful though. Some taxi drivers will claim they have no change in order to “encourage” you to give a tip.  Don’t allow more than a 1,000rp markup.

Bali is the only island where tips are they expect to be tipped for all services.  But even there, if you are not used to tipping or have run out of change, they will not snub you for not tipping.

MALAYSIA

Like its neighbors, tipping is not generally expected.  However as in everywhere, if you have received particularly good service, a tip can go a long way the next time you see them.  In the best establishments, a   10% service charge is added to both your meal and hotel room.

Partying in pubs/bars/clubs is a common evening pastime.  You will find the better ones quite crowded and tips can go a long way towards your comfort for the evening.  A tip of RM5 or RM10 can get you chair and better service from your waiter.  This is a perfect example of “to insure promptness” or “to insure pleasure” as your incentive.

At five-star hotels, one or two ringgit will suffice for baggage handlers. At lower-end establishments, don’t feel compelled to tip.

Taxis: Many taxis are now metered, so you can just round up to the nearest ringgit. In unmetered taxis, expect hard bargaining with your driver for the ride.  Include your tip in your end of the bargain.
 

MANILA
Tipping is common in Manila, and anything above 10% will gain you a new best friend.

Even if a service charge is included in restaurants, add another 5%-10% to tip.
Service in high-end hotels is good and tips 20 pesos per bag are common.   In lower class hotels 5pesos is common.
Most cabs are metered so round up to the next five pesos.  If you don’t say anything, the taxi driver will do it for you.

KOREA

Tipping is not part of Korean culture. International hotels however will add a 10% service charge to your room bill.  During my last trip to Seoul I ate at a small neighborhood restaurant run by a family.  I was tired and forgot my cultural sensitivity and left 700 won on the table as a tip.  The owner of the restaurant ran after me down the street to hand back the money not knowing it was a tip for his son who waited on me.  I was embarrassed and took back the money but said great things about his son’s work.

 If you’re at a Korean barbecue restaurant, a tip is not necessary. However if you dine with white tablecloths a 10% tip would be expected.

If you’re at a 5 star hotel, international standards apply, so expect to tip 500-1,000 won per bag.
Taxi drivers will give you quizzical looks if you hand them a tip and will probably give it back.

SINGAPORE
The government orders proper behavior from the residents and visitors alike in the Lion City and tipping is no exception.  They say no tipping and so it is.  It’s outlawed at Changi Airport and officials encourage tourists not to add to the 10% service charge that many high-end hotels tack on to the bill.

In Restaurants: Singaporeans won’t leave tips and it is taboo to add more. Sometimes nicer restaurants charge 10% to the bottom line.    I have slipped a few extra Singaporean dollars in the hand of my servers at really nice restaurants and all I received in return was huge smiles and nods.  I would only do that if you are sure no one from management is watching.

 Porters: Hotel staffs are the one exception to the no-tipping rule. As a general guide, S$1 should be adequate for baggage handling.  I have also given small gifts like postcards from America to my porters if during conversation they mention they have children.  I often learn the personal history of many of the people who serve me when I travel.  I always take 40-50 postcards from Washington, DC (my home town) and use them as special tips.  I have always been thanked most enthusiastically.

Taxi drivers are not supposed to accept tips, but they didn’t refuse when I rounded up the fare to the next Singaporean dollar.

TAIPEI
Like Japan and China, Taiwan is not a tipping society.

In restaurants focused on serving locals tipping is not expected. However, that rule is changing as American-style eateries and those which cater to international tourists.  I have given up to $5.00USD as a tip if warranted.  US Dollars go over very well.

For your baggage handlers, you can offer NT$50, but the hotel staff won’t be overly offended if you don’t tip.  I discretely tip by putting the money in their hand anyway.  So far, I have received only smiles.

For taxis, a gratuity is not expected, although rounding up the fare to the next NT$5 helps avoid unnecessary change.

AFRICA:

While I have traveled throughout Africa, the tipping situation in Nigeria and Ghana stands out for me.  In Nigeria, tipping is expected to be able to check into the hotel, get your luggage into the hotel and then again to your room.  If you didn’t tip, your luggage assumed the role of hostage until you found a dollar or two. To do anything normal during your day, a dollar here and there for everything that includes another person who serves you in any way was the norm.  When I had to pick up my plane ticket at the airport in Accra, I almost didn’t get a chance to go home.  I had run out of dollars and had to find someone American and friendly enough to borrow from.  The airline personnel didn’t want their currency, they wanted a US Dollar in exchange for my already paid for ticket.  Fortunately I found a friend who had come for his ticket too and because of his generosity, we both were able to get our tickets.    I have never visited a continent where money talks so loudly!

Middle East

During my travels in Egypt, Jordan, Israel, U.A.E., and Turkey, I heard the same mantra from taxi drivers.  While they expect Americans to tip the best because we are generous and rich, often they are stiffed.  This was less so in Israel.  In general, the same tip of 15% or rounding up to the next whole sum is considered proper. 

In the restaurants, the tip is usually automatic and is stated on the bottom of the menus.  The same global rule works here too.  If the service warrants it, then leave a little extra – the equivalent of a couple of US dollars in addition and don’t forget to give it to the waiter directly.  The management is guaranteed their tip from the bill.

RUSSIA

The most fun I had with tipping was my trip to Russia in 1990.  While there is no standard for tipping in Russia, service people expect tips for helping with luggage, for service in restaurants or any other substantial help. Hotels and restaurants occasionally add a 5-15% service charge to your bill as well as a 20% value added tax. Porters should be content with about $1/bag, but porters at stations expect outrageous tips in US Dollars from "rich foreigners" in part because they have to share them with the "dispatcher-guy".   

I planned my tips before I left home because I wasn’t planning on just offering money.  I packed 50 small bags of samples of Caswell -Massey toiletries (toothpaste, shampoo, and body gel), 10 pairs of blue jeans (slightly worn), 35 bottles of nail polish and other rare and expensive items on the Russian store shelves.  Tips were not just necessary to get out of a restaurant or hotel, they were necessary to get anything done while I was there.  When I needed to make a phone call home, I offered three toiletry bags to the hotel operator and my call went through in 20 minutes (the standard at the time in those days was three days).  For my guides I gave blue jeans.  For my interpreters I gave blue jeans and nail polish.  One gave me long stem roses and tears good-bye at the airport. 

Tipping isn’t always just about money when you travel.  You can offer more valuable items such as books, clothing, and toiletries – really anything that their economy holds dear.  As you have read, picture postcards of your hometown or state are my particular favorite because they pack well, don’t weigh much and can’t be found in the country you are visiting.

A couple of final “tips” –

• don’t tip on the tax.  Add up your bill without tax and then figure your tip. 
• If you ordered wine through the suggestion of a wine steward or sommelier, add 10% of the cost of the bottle as a tip just for them.  Don’t forget to give it to them directly if you have the cash or to mark it on the bill to go to them.
• If you are entertaining friends or for business, try tipping before you start being served.  Look at the menu, see if an automatic tip will be charged, figure out an additional per person tip based upon menu prices and give it to your waiter before you start ordering.  I have done this several times in Europe and in South America and the service couldn’t have been better. 
• The hotel pool is a great place to offer small tips to the staff.  You will probably get a better lounge location and maybe your desired “cold drink” will be brought to you quicker.
• Housekeeping staff should be tipped the equivalent of $2-3 per person per night’s stay.  I tip at the beginning of my stay so the housekeeper knows I appreciate a clean room.
• TIP is supposed to mean “To Insure Promptness”.  Sometimes giving it before might actually do that in the end.

On Tuesday, October 30, I will be appearing on the new cable channel, Fox Business,  to talk about the etiquette of wearing Halloween costumes to the office.  Tune in to hear me talk about the positives and negatives of doing so.

Sometimes I come across an articulate albeit “direct” explanation of proper etiquette used in different locals.  Today I found a great article by Mana Mostatabi – a columnist for the Daily Nexus -University of Southern California at Santa Barbara.  Since it is actually illegal for me to copy the article and put it here, please follow this link to read it. http://www.dailynexus.com/article.php?a=14812

Profanity is the effort of a feeble mind to express itself forcibly.

read in Hugo Fink’s Barbershop, Huntingburg, Indiana

We are finished with the visuals for the webinar of our Boardroom Polish seminar and ready to videotape so today I went out and bought a webcam to help. We purchased the Logitech QuickCam Pro 9000 and fooled around with it getting to know what it’s capabilities are. Here is a still pic I took at my desk this afternoon.

We will be announcing the availability of viewing the webinar in the next few weeks – or sooner. It will depend upon how successful we are doing the techie stuff ourselves or whether we need to bring in an expert. Stay tuned!