I have really appreciated your visits to this blog over the past five years. In an effort to consolidate The Lett Group brand, I have moved all current and future blog activity to http://itsapropos.wordpress.com . All of the posts from this blog have been moved to that one so you can still find them if there are any you would like to re-read.
See you over at It’s Apropos!
I love to brag about my college alma mater but usually it is because of the incredible research they do there or even the football or basketball teams’ records. This time I am bragging because two students are demonstrating what I try to teach in my classes and share in my speeches. They are making a difference in people’s lives by being nice. Watch this video and see if you don’t agree with me. It doesn’t take much to make someone else’s day brighter. And, it doesn’t cost you a cent.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QShPNcjgtfs
Everyday, I become ever more increasingly aware of everyone that my life touches on a day to day basis. Recently I was trying to calculate how many lives would be affected each and every day if everyone I said hello to, wished a good day to, or waved into traffic during the rush hour, did the same to everyone their lives touched..
Everyday of this year, I am going to continue to improve my life and the lives of those that I come in contact with. Each and every day, I challenge you to have a positive affect on your life and on the lives of those around you. Kindness is contagious and it can spread through a community as quickly as the flu.
Here are just a few tips on etiquette and gestures that will help you make a difference in your life and the lives of others:
As I talk to people in all walks of life, it becomes apparent that most everyone is worn out with rudeness and the lack of the simple gestures of kindness. Young and old alike want to return back to the good old days, when kindness ran rampant, which was prevalent in our recent past. The mature remember what is was like, and the young realize that there must be a better way. As you talk to your children, talk to them about how to treat others, how to handle difficult situations involving their contemporaries, I guarantee you will find an interest and a willingness to understand that will astonish you. Our children are just waiting for us to start the spark that will launch them into an increased awareness of an interest in removing the uncomfortable feelings of rudeness and replacing them with acts of kindness.
As you become more aware of those around you, ask yourself these questions, how did we get to where we are today? What values are we teaching our children? What values are going to be passed on down the line to our children’s children? It is obvious where our children formulate their values, it is from us. They are going to absorb and learn from us, so we must be careful what we purposely and inadvertently teach them. Our children, young and old alike, are the most important resource our country has. Let us teach them about etiquette and encourage them to reintroduce it back into society.
If each of us made a special effort to teach just one child every day something about etiquette, one can only imagine what a difference we can make, what a difference they can make, what a difference you can make.
This is an old article but since I just found it, it is news to me. Brighton College on the southern English coast started etiquete classes for 13-14-year-olds because the Headmaster, Richard Cairns, decided it was time his pupils were taught a few lessons in good manners. He decided this after learning that employers were dismayed by the numbers of undergraduates who were not equipped for the business world. Pupils will learn how to iron a shirt properly, dance the waltz, when to take off a jacket or go to the toilet, who to talk to during which courses at the dinner table and other finer points of etiquette.
Each Thursday, pupils will be invited by formal invitation to which he will have to respond in a written formal manner and not by email, text message or phone to the Headmaster’s home. They will be taught to deal with food they do not like, how to use the right cutlery and how to talk with fellow guests, among other niceties.
In 2002 I started the Etiquette in School Foundation which has the mission to incorporate etiquette skills into the curriculum of the classroom rather than as an after-school activity. We accept new ideas from anyone who would like to help. Call us at 301-458-7306 for more information.
1/20/2009: Selling Power – Solutions for Sales Management Presentations
If you are giving a presentation in a foreign country, you need to think about what you are saying nonverbally as well as verbally. Some gestures that are perfectly acceptable in the U.S. may be offensive in other countries, says Cynthia Lett, CEO of The Lett Group, consultants and trainers in international business protocol and etiquette. Anything people see your body doing is considered a gesture, says Lett. That’s why it’s extremely important to pay attention to body language when visiting and presenting in a foreign culture. For example, in the U.S. and in many countries around the world, we form a circle with our fingers to indicate the “OK” sign. However, in Australia, Finland, and Germany, this gesture is considered obscene, says Lett. In Japan, the OK sign means “money.” In France, it has the additional meaning of “worthless.”
But, let’s back up a moment. The first thing you will do when you get to your foreign destination is to greet people and the way you greet people in other parts of the world can be vastly different, says Lett. When you visit an Asian culture, you may get a handshake and a bow. In the Latin culture, the greetings are both handshakes and hugs and kisses, however, warns Lett, it’s not appropriate to hug and kiss the first time you meet someone. If they have met you before, expect it. Keep in mind there are always exceptions, says Lett. For example, Argentina follows European protocol rather than the Latin protocol. “In the Arab-Gulf region, Thailand, or Indonesia, understand that women may not be shaking hands with you,” Lett says. “Don’t put out your hand, wait until they put out their hands and reciprocate.” “Keep balance in mind,” Lett adds. “If you get a two-handed handshake, match it.” In other countries, the business card is considered a gift. Don’t accept it with your left hand; the left hand is considered the dirty hand in many cultures, so don’t extend it either. However, you can accept a business card with both hands. In some countries you should pass it and accept with both hands. For example, passing something with one hand, even your own business card in Japan is considered very rude. “You are expected to treat a business card with respect and don’t just put it in your pocket, toss it in your briefcase or purse,” says Lett. “Take the time to read it.”
Once you get the greeting out of the way, you’re still not out of the woods. Now you need to remember what you can and can’t do while you are presenting. In some cultures, you shouldn’t show your back to people. Always try to face them. In other countries, if you use your hands and arms to gesture, it is sometimes viewed as aggressive. If you must talk with your hands, says Lett, always gesture with an open hand and never with a fist or finger. “In our culture we don’t pay much attention to the feet and legs and because of that we offend a lot of people,” says Lett. “For instance, in many cultures, the idea of showing the soles of your feet is insulting. In the Middle and Near East, Thailand, Japan, and France, showing the soles of the feet demonstrates disrespect. You are exposing the lowest and dirtiest part of your body – insulting to say the least. So don’t cross your legs, either keep your feet on the floor or cross your legs at the ankles.”
“Other cultures’ rules came from a long, long history,” Lett explains. “In the U.S., we don’t have such a long history and you have to remember, we did a lot of things in defiance of the European countries when we first settled in America. We did that because we were escaping their way of life. I think people tend to forget that. So wherever you are going, the great rule of thumb is do research ahead of time. Don’t assume what happens in China happens in Peru.
” For more information, Lett recommends the following books: Gestures: The Dos and Taboos of Hosting International Visitors (John Wiley & Sons, 1990) by Robert Axtell, and Kiss, Bow or Shake Hands, The Bestselling Guide to Doing Business in More Than 60 Countries, 2nd Edition (Adams Media Corporation, 2006) by Terri Morrison and Wayne A. Conway.
Visit www.lettgroup.com for more information.
By Cynthia Lett
Attending and exhibiting at trade shows is all about building relationships, learning about new products and services and maybe negotiating a deal.
But everything starts with the relationship.
It is a fact that we like to do business with people we like. We are less willing to make a deal and write a check to a company represented by disrespectful, ignorant people.
You may say, “Well, of course! That is obvious.” But if it were so obvious, why do so many people treat potential buyers and vendors so poorly?
The first impression we have of a company or product is the person who represents it. As a buyer, when you explore a booth on a trade show floor, you should notice how you are greeted? Is it with a smile? Did someone shake your hand? Were you even acknowledged?
How many times have you walked into a booth on a trade room floor and were ignored completely?
It’s happened to me. When that happens, it is my cue to walk out quickly. If the booth attendant cannot be bothered to greet me appropriately, this is a company I cannot trust to meet my needs.
This is where knowing the proper etiquette and using it makes a huge difference between you and your competition.
A first impression is made within five seconds of meeting someone. We make a judgment about them and how we will interact based on their clothes, facial expressions, energy, confidence, personal power, perceived authority, posture, personal grooming, and most of all, by the way they treat us.
For five seconds, that’s a lot of information being formulated. So you have to ask yourself, do you make that first impression a positive one? Or, do you leave the impression that the person is an imposition, a waste of your time and not worth making the effort.
To make first impressions powerful and positive, keep these tips in mind:
* Acknowledge the other person.
* Smile.
* Look the person in the eye.
* Extend your hand first to shake hands.
* Shake hands–web to web and no more than three pumps.
* Pump from the wrist, not the shoulder or the elbow.
* Make the handshake firm, not bone crushing. Don’t give a “limp fish shake.”
* Lean forward from the shoulder to put energy into your greeting.
* Introduce yourself by stating your first and last name and position.
* Whether you are the buyer or seller, always extend or accept a greeting–don’t wander into a booth, grab a brochure or sample and run out without making a connection.
* Make the encounter worthwhile–even for the few moments you are there. Ask questions. Attempt to learn something about the product, service or buyer’s needs.
* If the product is not of use to you or your company, thank the booth attendants and say goodbye without wasting their time. This shows respect for their business and their time. It will also leave a positive impression about you, because you never know when you may encounter them again.
* If you are the seller, qualify the lead by asking specific questions. Too many generalities waste time for both of you. Examples of good specific questions are, “Do you believe that our product would be helpful to you?” or “What prompted you to stop by our booth?” Remember, wasting someone else’s time is a huge etiquette faux pas.
* Ask how you can follow up with them if you intend to do that. Don’t ask, “May I have your card?” That is a demand for a gift, not a request for information. The reason we want someone’s business card is to have information for follow-up. If you make the demand for a card, you may embarrass them if they don’t have any to give. What you really are requesting is a way to follow up. Ask instead, “What is the best way to follow up with you?” or “Where may I send additional information?” This leaves a classier impression and respect for the other person.
* Understand the corporate culture. Is it informal? Does everyone use first names immediately? Or does it tend to be more formal? If so, don’t forget to use an honorific (Mr., Ms., Dr., etc.).
* If someone else is occupying your attention when new guests come into your booth, at a break in the conversation, make an introduction and tell them that you will be with them momentarily. This gesture demonstrates several positives. You are acknowledging their presence, and you are making it easy for them to meet someone new.
* People who employ good etiquette act as a resource for others. Know who else is exhibiting and where they are located in case your new prospect would like to know.
* You are either a host or a guest in all situations. If you are the exhibitor, the host role is yours. Everyone who comes to your booth is coming to your office-away-from-the-office. Treat them with the respect you would use if they had made an appointment to meet you in the office. If you are a buyer, you are the guest. As a guest, you have certain duties as well. They include, being present in the conversation; being polite with your questions; making requests, not demands; not wasting anyone’s time; and introducing yourself.
* Don’t be a complainer. Do you like to hear about someone’s aching feet or their hunger for lunch?
* Don’t sit down. A person sitting is unapproachable at a show. If buyers want to learn about your product, and you are waiting for them in a chair, chances are they will walk on by and feel put off.
* Don’t eat in the booth. If you are not in the position to share what you are eating with people who come into your booth, don’t eat in front of them. (Also, chewing gum is a huge faux pas!).
* Be careful not to talk about a function you attended or plan to attend unless everyone at the show has been invited. Nothing makes people feel more uneasy than hearing about not being invited to an event. Along these lines, never make an invitation to one person if anyone else not invited could possibly hear.
* If you said “hello,” you must say “goodbye.” Don’t disappear without closure of some sort.
* Shake hands to say “goodbye.”
* Turn off your cell phone, unless you are on a break. If you must be in contact at all times, invest in a vibrating pager or cell phone. If either does go off in the company of others, ask if you may put the caller on hold until you can excuse yourself to a quiet, private location to talk. Don’t carry on a conversation in front of anyone in your booth. That is a strong form of ignorance. It is the same as broadcasting your business on the front page of The Washington Post.
* If you don’t know what to talk about to break the ice, consider what things you have in common. First, you are at a tradeshow, so ask if it meets their expectations. You had to travel, so ask how their trip was. You probably heard the general session opening speech, so ask their opinions about it. Compliment the guests in your booth on a positive aspect of their company. This could be the number of years they have been in business, their recent merger, their standing on the Fortune 500 list or a recent “win” they had in securing a big contract. Nothing makes someone pay attention to you in a positive way than being complimented.
* No gossiping. When it is slow in the booth, many salespeople revert to gossip to pass the time. This will kill your professional image quickly–even with your colleagues who are also participating.
* Brush up on your grammar. Poorly spoken English causes others to regard you as uneducated. Even a college degree doesn’t count if you use the language improperly. Also remember, using swear words are taboo for a professional image. They also make others quite uncomfortable.
While this is a short list, the tips are important to cultivate proper behaviors at a trade show, or any business function.
Keep this in mind: Treat others with the respect, kindness and professionalism. If you do, you remain in good standing with your competition. You can really stand out if you master some of the suggestions.
Once you incorporate these behavior tips into your approach at a trade show, you will enjoy your relationship-building efforts and make each trade show a more effective use of your time and efforts and each business encounter more productive.
Cynthia Lett is director and CEO of The Lett Group, an international leader in etiquette and protocol training. Her weekly talk show, “It’s Apropos!” can be heard on the Internet at www.success-talk.com. The Lett Group teaches a seminar called Trade Show & Meetings Etiquette. To contact her, call +1 888 933 3883, or visit www.lettgroup.com.
I often talk with new college graduates about the best practices for getting that important first job. Some take my advice and land the job that will launch a successful career. Some don’t. This terrific article by Sarah E. Needleman, which was published in the Wall Street Journal July 29, 2008, sheds light on why so many young professionals are having a tough time getting started in their chosen career. I would love your comments after you have had a chance to read it.
All the best,
Cynthia
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB121729233758791783.html
I and my family are members of the Friends of the National Zoo in Washington, DC. Last weeks we had a few inches of snow and the attached slideshow is of several of the animals enjoying the snow day. I hope it makes you smile as it does me every time I see it. Feel free to pass it along.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/nationalzoo/sets/72157613060354782/show/
Enjoy your day,
Cynthia
- Cynthia
What is the best way to catch the attention of legal searchers and e-discovery practitioners? Perhaps it is by using one of the top 10 phrases that tells them to find interesting things. Elizabeth Charnock, CEO of Cataphora, a provider of e-discovery software, lists them for us:
If you find yourself typing one of these phrases, perhaps you should delete the entire email.
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